|Out to dinner for my 20th birthday|
Last Wednesday, July 3rd, I turned 20 years old. It's such a surreal feeling. I know some of you who have come to and left this point already probably think I'm silly, but to me it just seems so unreal.
I have been thinking back over the last 20 years (okay, so as many as I can actually remember), and thinking of all the lessons God has taught me, with the last six years being the most significant. Six years ago, I attended the Journey to the Heart, and it changed my life forever. And out of the last six years, this last year especially has been a time of huge change in my life, and in my walk with the Lord.
I remember last summer having feelings of discontentment and anxiousness: anxious to get married (yes, at only 19). Not completely content where God had placed me. I had so many things that I was holding on to, of which I needed to let go. I am amazed at the work that God has done in my life just since last summer, and that He continues to do.
This last year, He has taught me...
I have definitely not perfected these things, but I find myself perfectly content where I am right now. I have surrendered my future into God's hands, and I trust Him completely with my future. Recent circumstances showed me that trying to write my own story was not worth it, and that I'd only end up making a disaster of my life. So who better to let write my story than Someone who is perfect?
I am also finding myself falling deeply in-love with Jesus. Wow...He continues to amaze me more and more every day, and I find myself falling deeper and deeper into an intimate relationship with Him. He has become my true source of joy. He is my contentment. He has provided for all of my needs. It is because of Jesus that I am the woman that I am today.
Because I have found such a deep love for Jesus, I'm not anxious anymore about getting married. I only want that to come if it will further deepen my love for the Lord, and if I can serve Him better married than I can single. I have learned that life is all about Him. It's all about bringing glory to Christ. Now when tempted to sin, I think to myself "but I love Jesus too much to do something like that." Oh that the whole world could know of Jesus' deep love for them, and fall completely and madly in-love with Jesus themselves!
I wish I could fully express my love to Him, and fully explain to everyone how much I truly love Jesus, and how much I want everyone to love Him the same way.
I am thankful that the Lord is teaching me to love Him and to delight in Him. I am looking forward to another 20 years of truly loving and serving Jesus, if He decides to grant me with those 20 years. I know the next 20 years will be filled with MANY changes in my life (as I do hope to marry and have kids within the next 20 years). As my brother said, "The next 20 years will be harder and more expensive."
No matter what the future may bring, I am resting in the knowledge that my Father has a beautiful story for my life, if I will only leave the pen in His hands. I am thankful for even the mistakes I've made in the last 20 years, as they have taught me many beautiful lessons.
Sorry if this post has seemed like kind of a ramble. But I'm excited to see how God will work in my life and use me in the next 20 years, and am thankful for these past 20 years. I encourage you all to let God write your story, especially if you're still young, and unmarried. Give Him the pen to your life, and He will write a more beautiful story than you could ever have imagined for yourself. Stay strong in Jesus! Cling to Him, and give Him your whole heart!
Because of Jesus' Blood,
Galatians 2:20; 1 Corinthians 15:10