Friday, May 17, 2013

Run and Jump

Tired...oh, so tired. Why do I feel like this?

For the last couple of months, I have experienced extreme exhaustion. I experienced that right after coming home from Taiwan, but knew that was definitely from jet lag. But the last couple of months? Why have I felt tired? There would be mornings I just found it difficult to get out of bed before 8, and even then I would be groggy, and could barely drag myself through the day. I was not going to bed extremely late at nights either. Supposedly, I should be getting enough sleep. This could not be a hangover from jet lag.

The middle of April, I walked into my local blood donation center to give blood. Overall, I was feeling well, but still had this feeling as if I had been awake all night. I waited for a long time, and finally they called me back into the room to test my levels, and have me answer a bunch of questions. They pricked my finger, and took my hemoglobin levels. "12.0. I'm sorry, you can't give unless it is 12.5." Disappointed, I left the donor center, with an appointment to come back in a couple of weeks.

The Wednesday before last, I went back for my appointment. After waiting a while, they finally called me back. Again, I got to have my finger pricked. "11.8. Your iron is too low. You can't give blood today." She gave me a pamphlet on low iron, and food to avoid, and foods to eat. She said that I might consider the fact that I am borderline anemic.

I went home, and did some researching on borderline anemia, and found that I had all the symptoms of it. But at least now, I know the cause of my extreme exhaustion, as well as some other problems I've been having.

Since last week, I have had my ups and downs. There would be days I would feel just fine, and then other days I just could not pull myself out of bed before noon, because I would be so tired.
Yesterday was a pretty terrible day. I felt completely exhausted, and every time I would stand up, I would start to black out. I had to pull myself together to go teach yesterday afternoon, but I barely even made it through that, and just crashed after I got home.

There have been times when I just felt like crying. Now, I know that this may not be a big deal as compared to people who suffer from diseases, or cancer, or other serious health issues. But it was frustrating to me. I am so tired of feeling tired. So tired of not being able to accomplish really anything, because of a lack of focus. Because of this, I have not really been able to do school like I ought for the last couple of months. And that only added to my frustration. Yesterday was definitely a day where I just felt like crying. Yesterday, I also had some other struggles, that I kept having to give to God.

Now, you're probably wondering why I have told you all of this. I am setting the stage for how amazing God is in all of this. 

Last night, as I was getting ready for bed, I listened to my audio Bible on my phone. I love the dramatization of the Zondervan audio Bible, as it gives me a new perspective on the Bible, as it makes it come alive. I have been reading through the Bible, and was in 2 Samuel last night. Because of extreme exhaustion yesterday, I did not get a chance that morning to read my Bible. So this was my go-to, with the little time I had left before bed. 2 Samuel 22 started playing, which is pretty much word-for-word of Psalm 18. The Lord caught my attention with these two verses.

"For by thee I have run through a troop: by my God have I leaped over a wall. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him." 2 Samuel 22:30-31.

I had been frustrated, yet not griping or complaining to God about it (because I realized that I break 130 commands when I do that, so I can't do that anymore). But when I heard these verses, they became more alive to me than ever before. I felt as if God spoke to me through these verses and said, "Faith, by me, you can run through all these struggles as if they are not there. You can jump over the walls in your path, such as health issues, no matter how high or difficult they might be, if you only look to me for your strength. My way is perfect, even when it may seem thing are going wrong." I was overwhelmed by this. I realized that I had not been seeking Him for all of my strength. I was not trying to do anything in my own strength, but I was not asking Him to fill me with His strength. Through Him, all things are possible, even the difficult things.

Thankfully, I know that I can fix my problem by eating a high iron diet, and by taking some supplements to help raise my iron levels back to normal. Hopefully in a couple of weeks, I will feel normal again. But I am choosing to thank God for allowing me to experience this in my life, to teach me yet again that I cannot depend upon my own strength, and that I have to ask for His strength. By His strength, I can get through anything in life, no matter how difficult the situation.

So my challenge to you is this:

Seek His Strength! Become completely weak, so that He can be made strong. Remember that His strength is made perfect in our weakness. And make sure that when you know you are completely weak, that you do ask Him to give you His strength.

I pray that the Lord is able to use the lesson I have learned to help you in the future. My goal is to glorify Christ in every situation, even in the tough situations of life. Stay strong in Jesus!

Because of Jesus Christ and for His glory,
Faith Christine
Galatians 2:20; 1 Corinthians 15:10