Recently, I read this
article on the 10 types of men that a Christian women should never marry. It hit the nail on the head, and clearly defining the types of men a Christian woman should not marry. Marriage, aside from asking Jesus Christ to be the Lord of your life, is one of life's most important decisions, and will either "make or break" a person. So we must choose carefully when selecting a life partner. Ladies, I definitely recommend reading this article! And Gentlemen, try to avoid being that type of a man. I'm grateful for a father and older brother who give wise counsel and insight into the true character of the men around me, and who will help to filter out the guys that I would never want to marry.
But what kind of man should a woman be looking for? This article is mostly intended for my fellow single ladies, who are holding out for God's best in their life. But, if you are a man, and reading this blog post, then I exhort you to live to be this kind of a man.
My Dad recently gave me a list of characteristics that he will look for in any possible suitors in the future. They are easy for me to remember, and watch for myself, because the acronym of the character qualities is FAITHFUL.
They are:
Frugal
Attentive
Industrious
Teachable
Humble
Focused
Unselfish
Loving
If you are interested in knowing more about each of these qualities, I will now elaborate.
Frugal
How does he handle his money? Does he just spend it without a thought of what he is spending it on? A frugal man will be cautious with how he spends his money. This does not mean that he does not spend his money on fun things, but rather that he carefully allots each dollar. He is wise with his money, and spends with the future in mind, rather than throwing his money away for the pleasures currently at hand.
Attentive
The dictionary definition of Attentive is: Assiduously attending to the comfort or wishes of others; very polite or courteous. This kind of a man is thoughtful, kind, gallant, and chivalrous. He notices the small details in a conversation. He notices when others are in need of something, and finds some way to aid in fulfilling that need. This is the man that opens doors for ladies. You know he is paying attention to a conversation if in a later conversation, he mentions something you previously said.
When you are talking, he is focused on you, will make eye contact, and does not look every which way while you are talking. This is an attentive man.
Industrious
This man is diligent in all his work, and does all he can to earn a living. This does not mean that it would be wrong for the wife to work. But if the man is sitting at home, playing video games, and not out trying to find some job, ANY job, he is not industrious. This man would be content to stay at home and let his wife work and be the bread-winner.
1 Timothy 5:8 says, "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is
worse than an infidel." This is not the kind of man you should want to marry. Marry an industrious man.
Teachable
This one is huge ladies! Marry a man who is open to receiving teaching from God's Word. If he thinks that he "knows it all," watch out. This is a pride issue (which we'll talk over more in the next point), and means that he will never be open to your point of view. If someone points out a blind spot, or a character flaw, in his life, he should be willing to learn from this, and use it as a means of the Lord teaching him. This man will be seeking counsel from godly mentors, and will constantly search God's Word to learn more about how to live the Christian life.
Humble
Yes, everyone will struggle with pride at times, as pride is the root cause of just about every sin. But there is a difference between a humble Christian, who being human struggles with pride and admits His struggle before God, and a man who is just full of himself. If a man thinks that he knows everything, and thinks of himself as better than others, run the other direction! This is not the kind of man you want to marry. Also, avoid the extreme opposite, the man with false humility. This man puts himself down so that he can gain attention for himself, and have others say good things about him.
Instead, find a man who knows that he is nothing in and of himself. Find a man who sincerely praises God for everything in his life. He sees himself as low importance, and Christ as the greatest importance.
Focused
This man has a goal in mind, and he is focused on achieving it. He does not wander from one kind of job to the next, but rather uses each job as a preparation for his ultimate goal. When he sets his mind on something, he strives for that goal.
I want to take a minute to brag on my dad and older brother, Richard. They are some of the most focused men I have met. They know what their end goal is, and they strive to reach that goal. I am privileged to have such great men in my family. :)
Unselfish
Really, a man who is humble will not be selfish. But an unselfish man will think of others' needs before his own. He will be looking for ways to serve others. He is willing and interested in putting the needs of others before his own needs.
Loving
Not much needs to be said for this one. But does the man love you unconditionally? Or does he love you only when you do something for him? (which would be selfish) What are his reasons for loving others? Does he love others despite how they may treat him? How does he respond under criticism? Does he continue to love them, or does he lash out irrationally?
A man with these characteristics is truly a FAITHFUL man, and following Christ wholly.
So now that I have laid out these characteristics to look for in a husband, let me say a few things.
First, ladies, if you want to marry someone like this, then he will be looking for a wife with these same character qualities. Work on developing these own characteristics in your life!
Second, you will never find a man who fulfills all these things perfectly. The only perfect man to ever walk the face of this earth is Jesus. Don't expect perfection, because then you will NEVER get married. Instead, look for a man who is striving towards these character traits in his life. He will never follow them perfectly, but he will be striving through the strength of Jesus to follow Him wholly. I do not expect a husband who is perfect, because then he would expect me to be perfect, and I am far from ever obtaining perfection. But these character traits, or lack thereof, are easily seen a man upon better acquaintance.
Third, to the men out there who may happen to read this blog post, I want to encourage you to live to be this kind of a man. No, you will never obtain perfection, as no woman will ever obtain perfection. Christ is the only sinless human. But yield your life to Jesus Christ, and seek to follow him and develop these character traits in your life. My hope is that this will not discourage you, but rather give you encouragement as to the kind of man that Christ wants you to be.
It all boils down to this: Find a man who seeks to put Christ first, others second, and self last in all his ways. Seek this, become this. Follow Christ wholly. Live for Him and Him alone!
I pray that these words may be an encouragement to at least one reader, and that Christ can use it to make a difference in your life!
Praying blessings over you, dear reader! Go with Jesus!
Because of Jesus' Blood and by His Grace,
Faith Christine
Galatians 2:20; 1 Corinthians 15:10
